>> Friday, June 12, 2015
The long wait is taking its sweet time. I have been staying busy and active and trying to not focus on what lays ahead, but as soon as I am not neck deep in a project, I look at things and relate them to the possible genetic outcome.
Can I have a drink? Yep, and she chose it. It was sugar.
Can I have some candy? Yep, and she chose it. It was sour and sugar.
Then she saw the ring pop and we bought that. I answered a few questions and was incredulous when I was told that the Diastat needed a pre-authorization. What, I said, What? It was the Pharmacy's error, it turns out, but straightening that error made me sit longer. And looked around. I stared at the wall of supplements ahead of me and thought: what if what he needs has been in front of me for 5 years and I have been an arms length away from it this entire time?
One can not live like this so I moved into a different place mentally and focused on Ava and the fact that she was neither eating her sugar or drinking it.
When we got home, I watched Bug. I watched him play and smile at me. I watched him trade toys with his little brother. My mind was locked in the potential of what next week may bring.
More of the same? Less time?
I asked Glenn if he thought about it and he said:
No. It won't change the outcome. It is what it is and nothing I can think, at this moment, will make a difference.
Yes, I agreed, point taken.
Yet, here I sit. Guess what's on my mind?