Didn't I JUST close my eyes?

>> Friday, September 18, 2009

Bug was tired at 7:30pm. Of course he was, he didn't get much sleep the night before, his sleepless nights do not bode well more often than not and in this case, it was a glimpse into last night. SO, Mom fed him, I gave him his meds at 8:30pm and at 9:00 we headed to bed. At 9:20 I turned off the TV and by 9:25 he was asleep.

9:30 he had a seizure. 9:45, 9:55, 10:00, 10:10 and 10:17. I called no joy and broke out the Diastat. He slept. I slept, until the alarm that some little hands set to go off at 12:00am went off. I turned it off, went to the bathroom and snuggled up to Bug who was sleeping soundly and peacefully and closed my eyes.

I was awakened by another seizure. Shit. Yeah, I am gonna curse and swear when I want because I deserve it. I prayed that it was at LEAST 6:00am. It was close: 5:54. But still: SHIT! I hoped it was a fluke and tried to get back to sleep. It wasn't a fluke. And enter me hating the universe, vowing to do something. ANYTHING, find ANYONE that can help him. He followed it up 6 more times in an hour and half. That's 13 total in a 12 hour period, WITH Diastat.

Currently, he won't eat and he wants to go back to sleep. THIS would be bad. VERY much bad. There has to be an answer, there HAS to be someone that knows what to do. I can't do this: Alter the medication by a few mg here and there, all the while watching his body tighten up every fifteen minutes when all he wants to do is sleep. This completely sucks. It sucks more than anything has ever sucked before in my entire life. I am angry, and I am crushed. I want to protect him and I can't. His brain will not let me. No one can tell me how or why to help him and I am beyond destroyed.

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What a Seizure looks like (Graphic Content Included)

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Seizure Tracker.com

Seizure Tracker.com
Free online tools to provide people living with epilepsy and their doctors with a better understanding of the relationship between seizure activity and anti-epileptic medication dosages. Reports generated on SeizureTracker.com include detail graphing capabilities and are easily sharable with caregivers.

Diamond Potential Awareness Award

Diamond Potential Awareness Award
Thank you Holly at Diamond Potential for this award. Awareness leads to understanding and acceptance. And let's face it, we all need to feel accepted for who we are. The battle has just begun!

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